I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
