I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
