THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
