is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
