glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
