You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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