I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
