he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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