And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
