your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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