Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
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The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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