It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
