I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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