He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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