The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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