i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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