9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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