Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
