The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
