i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
