Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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