Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
