Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
