none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
