so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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