your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
