They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
