come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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