I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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