i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
