How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
