You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
