Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
