There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
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