we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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