Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am one with the molecules
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.