The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.