I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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