I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize