U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
