we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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