I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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