Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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