Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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