just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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