so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
