pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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