Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
