I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
