Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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