it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
