from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
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I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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