I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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