so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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